If You Can't Say Something Nice, Don't Say Anything At All

I've been avoiding blogging in an effort to stay positive. The truth is, it wasn't a positive week. Cora has been in pretty bad shape this week. Poor thing feels miserable. She's been totally sick to her stomach which had her very dehydrated again around Wednesday so we had an unplanned clinic visit. Fluids helped some, but the truth is this Delayed Intensification is just destroying her little body. She is starting to really puff back up from the steroids, her hair is shedding like crazy, and she walks around all day crying that she doesn't feel good. Her legs are so sore that walking is hard and today she was complaing of low back pain on her right side. I know this is part of the treatment and it will pass, but it STINKS SO BAD! I hate watching my baby suffer and not being able to do one darn thing about it! All we do all day and night is try to comfort her, and I can't even tell you the amount of guilt I feel over this whole thing. I am not sure why I feel guilty???? But it seems to be my way of dealing, passing the heartache off as guilt. Being positive has been hard this week. In fact, when I read Cora Cinderella at bedtime tonight, it was probably the most cynical version ever told. Well, I didn't actually change the story, but I sorta felt like saying, "Cora sweetie, this is a fairy tale, it isn't real life. Happily ever after doesn't always exist!" That's just the kind of week it's been. I am hoping, this week the silver lining will shine through! We are DONE with chocolate medicine (steroid) as of today for awhile! Sorry for the "half empty" attitude I am experiencing today! The one thing that keeps us going is the huge number of people praying and encouraging us! We love you!